Lesson in Grammar #2

Today's lesson comes from a typical response one would hear during the holiday season. After a few days of giving and receiving presents and the thank yous it would produce, the giver of a gift usually replies "You are very welcome" or some other variant. This phrase is often shortened in the common vernacular, and the difference is subtle.

But in an age of increasing technological interaction, including email, text messages, and internet forums, phrases are seen more often in written form. And unfortunately, people do not understand the concepts of ownership words versus contractions of words. And so I come to the point of Lesson #2.

"You're welcome" is a contraction of "You are welcome" and is a response given to someone who had just verbalized gratitude. "Your welcome" denotes ownership of a welcome or introduction.

It's obvious that people intend the first meaning of "You are welcome" most of the time. But that shouldn't excuse them from lazy writing. The masses are becoming increasingly casual in their speech and writing. This becomes a problem if carried over into the professional world, especially when dealing with international businesses. Cultures that use English as a second language learn its grammatical basics. So when our culture degenerates the language--although still understood by people within our culture--it could affect cross-cultural communication.

So please try to spellcheck your emails, papers, projects or anything you are writing to protect the vitality of the English language.

Lesson in Grammar #1

The word "their" indicates ownership. "They're" is a contraction for "they are", showing a state of being. "There" is most commonly an adverb referring to location. Contrary to popular usage, the three words are not interchangeable. They each have a proper time and place, and those times and places are never the same.

A tangible object called a retarded has never existed. It does not currently exist; unless someone creates a play-on-words product in the future, it never will exist. Therefore, it is impossible for someone to possess a retarded. So people should stop using the phrase "their retarded".

People commonly misuse "they're" as a possessive pronoun. Perhaps it is the apostrophe; today's feeble-minded internet users can only imagine an apostrophe being used to denote ownership, thus all apostrophe-touting words indicate ownership. Nevertheless, "they're lives" does not make sense. A life is something one owns, controls, subjugates, or relinquishes. It is not something a person can actually be. Perhaps we should outlaw the contraction in common English; that might persuade people to stop relying on it in improper situations, and we can put the whole "will not" becomes "won't" problem behind us.

"There" is a referential adverb. It indicates a point (either tangible or metaphysical). Even though it can refer to a place, it cannot take the place of the previously mentioned homophones. Here is an example from a confused individual:
CORY52768 (1 minute ago) I think they're doing something constructive with there spare time. some people can learn from these two kids. (emphasis added by author)

I hope this helps in your future internetting. The great thing about the English language is that it is so dynamic; we are so capable of creating new words whenever it suits us (hell, I just used "internetting" as an intransitive verb). Therfore we should not have to bend the rules of the words we already have.

For more examples of bad grammar check out YouTube.