Mild Precipitation Causes Six Mile Pile-Up

To begin, I was out of town at my girlfriend's house for Thanksgiving. We went to all the cool places: South Beach, Shorty's BBQ, some other place. That is the reason for much of my absence. Now on to the rant.

For some reason, in this state that I live in (Florida), some sort of wet substance falls from the sky on occasion. It can fall heavily, softly, or sideways. Apparently no one else in the state knows what it is either, because when driving their reaction is to simply slam on the brakes and gaze at the sky in wonder and amazement.

"Has the Universe inverted itself and the oceans are on top of the sky now?!"
"Is God finally shedding tears on the failings of humanity?"

No one seems to know how to react to this phenomenon. My first idea is to proceed as normal. Even if something is different, procedures shouldn't alter until you know the current course of action will not work.

When you see a wall of--what do they call it, rain?--when you see a wall of rain ahead of your vehicle and are unsure you can drive safely at or near the speed limit, THEN PULL THE #$*@ OVER AND MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!!!!

Voting Sucks

There is of course, the obvious reason, that my vote being 1 out of roughly 200 million it is completely insignificant

No, the reason voting sucks is a more personal one. Let us say, hypothetically, that a college-aged individual who has had a friend from a foreign country, we'll say Japan, stay with him for two weeks awoke at 5:30 AM to drive said friend to the airport. And let us also assume this individual did not receive enough sleep and is feeling under the weather. So after dropping his Japanese friend at the airport, the individual sees that by the time he gets back home, the polls will be open. So being an upstanding citizen who cares about the future of this country, he makes his way to his specified polling location.

Now it's just after 7 AM when our hypothetical subject arrives, so a line has already formed. This slightly upsets our man, because he had intended on getting a little more sleep before going to work. Nevertheless, he exits his car and lines up. Let it be known that our individual is in no means rude, and if someone asks him a question directly he will answer with a polite, albeit short, response. But what becomes unnecessary is the woman 2 spots in front of our subject, who laughs after everything she says, and the man 5 spots ahead, who feels it is perfectly normal to interject his opinion or witty one-liner into every one's conversation within a fifteen meter radius.

Generally when you have the phrase "laughs at whatever he/she says", it is understood that this person never says anything funny.

So to sum it up, voting sucks because the people one is forced to stand in line with are idiots who can't just keep quiet and move forward in silence. Hypothetically speaking of course.

Teen Pregnancy Numbers Up; Ignorant Population Too

While reading CNN.com I came across this article about the number of teen pregnancies increasing from 2005 to 2006. My reaction to that "fact" is inconsequential, but what really astonished me was all of the comments attributing the Bush Administration's abstinence-only education programs as the cause of this phenomenon.

It doesn't bother me that more teens are giving birth. It doesn't bother me that more teens are probably having sex. It does bother me that all of these young women are giving birth to children that have to hear the inane rumblings of an ill-informed and misguided population.

Let's look at the facts from the story:
1. Jamie Lynn Spears of Nickelodeon and older sister fame gave birth to a girl recently.
2. Mortality rates for teens went down from '04 to '05. Teenage violent crime offenders went up.
3. Pregnant teens are less likely to handle the pregnancy efficiently.
4. Community resources for adolescents are having to cut back spending.

Hmmm... nowhere in the entire article does it mention anything about preventative programs, abstinence or otherwise. It does mention that community outreach facilities are losing their funding. A logical conclusion to make is that with less activities to keep them busy, teens are having sex and doing drugs and committing violent crimes.

The whole purpose of any government-institutionalized program is that education starts in the home. So if parents do not endorse abstinence-only education, then why would kids give a damn about it? That's like if everyone you talk to says the Chevy Tahoe is a piece of crap. Would you even consider buying it?

Everything lives or dies by consumer reviews. We live in a capitalist society; it's just how these things work. So if people already have it in their head that something will fail, they won't give it an honest chance.

But ignorant liberal Americans, with their "change is great" attitudes and loose morals continue to badmouth abstinence-only programs. And since he who yells the loudest gets the most recognition, we can only expect this number to climb as well.